I'm drive I can fine osifer
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize