if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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