new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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