Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
