What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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