He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
