East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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