OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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