My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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