Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
