btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
