Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
