You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
