ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
