so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
