Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
