..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
