I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
