ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize