If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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