Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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