Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
