look no pants
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
