Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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