covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
