Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize