That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize