you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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