i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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