That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i've created a new STD.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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