I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize