none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize