She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
