Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
