I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
