I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
