I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
