He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
