Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
