we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
