I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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