would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
