We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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