Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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