gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
