So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
