Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
