I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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