i think i have two assholes
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
