Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can you bring me the toilet please
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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