How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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