the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
