I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize