Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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