Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
