Michael Bay diarrhea
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
