it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I checked into jail on foursquare
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
