How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I intend to get homeless drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize
