this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
