Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
