Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
